Dr. Robyn Lynette
I’d Like to Thank the Cartel for Getting Me Out of the Cult
A true story about control, chaos, and finally calling my own shots.
Release Date: 11/18/2025
About Me
Author. Athlete. Former cult kid. Now: Mental MacGyver.
I’m Dr. Robyn Lynette, and I lived several lifetimes before I turned forty.
I mastered the art of making myself small—hyper-observant and self-sacrificing, always dimming the brightness of a naturally big personality. That’s what you do when survival depends on reading the room perfectly.
Having grown up in a cult, my father chose my first husband. After I escaped that marriage, with an assist from the cartel, I discovered competitive beach volleyball. For the first time, a glimmer of my true self started to show…
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About the Book
I’d Like to Thank the Cartel for Getting Me Out of the Cult is a raw, honest look at what it takes to rebuild after only ever knowing manipulation, control, and abuse. Dr. Robyn shares her story with sharp insight and quiet humor, showing how awareness and truth can turn survival into strength.
For readers seeking honesty that heals, this memoir is for you.
This book isn’t a tell-all, and it’s not meant to trauma dump. While the first few chapters come with a trigger warning, the rest of the book is about strength, self-trust, and the courage to take your power back.
Some Chapter Titles
- Born Into a Cult
- The Second Time I Was Assaulted
- You Just Don’t Steal a Girl’s Gun
- The Church Always Blames the Woman
- When Not Enough Therapy Meets a Narcissist
- Never Get Married Because You’re Afraid to Be Alone
- Held at Gunpoint by Cops in My Own Kitchen
- Then My Panties Started to Disappear
- This Is My Circus. Those Are My Monkeys
Who This Book Is For
Not only for lovers of memoirs, if you want to understand how control works and how to walk away with your power intact, this is for you.
Everything’s Better in Black Stilettos
This chapter, wasn’t included in the book, but I love it. You can read it free.
As a #MeToo survivor, I recognize the courage it takes to share trauma that involves the very people who were supposed to protect you. It is for this reason that I commend Dr. Robyn for sharing her story with us and highly recommend the book, I’d Like to Thank the Cartel for Getting Me Out of the Cult.
Raw, honest, and completely human. This isn’t trauma porn. It’s a story of how Robyn fought, clawed her way out, and reclaimed her life. Smart, darkly funny, and empowering in ways I didn’t expect. If you’ve ever felt trapped or silenced, this book will move you and inspire you to take action. I cannot recommend it highly enough.